Domestic violence in Iraq a common issue which is usually practiced by men towards their women or their children. The violence doesn’t stop with the abusive father or husband but rather it passes from one generation to another as the children who got abused sometimes grow up to become abuse their own children or wives in the future.
According to a report issued by UNICEF, about 90% of children between the ages of one and fourteen years in Iraq are exposed to violence in various forms, in addition to a high percentage of women who are exposed to threats and death by their family or husband.
This blog focuses on how abuse can change the romantic choices of bisexual Iraqi women and here we ask the following question to our readers, do you think that the abuse the bisexual women get exposed to has a serious effect on their view of men and their romantic lives? IraQueer is happy to hear your answer about this.
Iraqi women who have bee directly exposed to violence during their childhood, or those who grew up in unstable homes where their mothers or older sisters were exposed to it, have a greater tendency, as they grow older, to be involved in unhealthy relationships with toxic men, compared to those who lived a stable childhood.
Lamis says, "I grew up in a house where love never existed. My father was harsh and violent, and he liked giving orders to me, my siblings, and my mother about everything and if we complained, we would be beaten up and humiliated. I lived like this my whole childhood, adolescence, and several years of my twenties.
My father was the first man I knew in my life and seeing him act the way he did affected the way I look at all the other men. As a bisexual, I tend to be more romantically attracted to men than to women, but my love life with men has always been a disaster.
Whenever a man approaches me, I get stressed because my mind and body have always related interactions with men with cruelty, violence, and hurtful words. For that I see myself unable even nowadays to find a male partner who I can feel good with. Whenever I get a chance to get close to a guy, my subconscious mind reminds me of the bad memories and the story ends with me walking away. I don't mean to act cold or moody, but I'm just afraid, actually, I’m terrified
I have not gotten enough love from men, and I do not know if I will ever be able to fight my fear ad experience a healthy relationship with a man. One thing I know for sure is that I will never accept to be treated the same way my father treated my mother.
Being exposed to violence is not going to change your sexuality, but it might stop you from building healthy relationships with the ones you are attracted to. I have a long way ahead of me to learn to trust men and believe there are good ones out there and that I have the chance to be with one of them. I have to believe that my father is not the best example of what a man could be and that he does not represent all men. We all deserve to heal from the pain we were exposed to and we deserve to ourselves the right and freedom to choose those who respect us and love us exactly the way we are"