 IraQueer is excited to announce the appointment of a new board consisting of seven LGBT+ Iraqis. The appointment of this board marks a historic milestone for IraQueer and the larger queer movement in Iraq as it’s the first publicly known organization to have a board consisting of only LGBT+ Iraqis.
The new board, which includes IraQueer’s founder, has members representing different parts of Iraq and different identities within the LGBT+ community. They bring with them a wide range of experiences as they work in different sectors including nonprofits and humanitarian organizations, education, and finance. Most members of the board have chosen to stay anonymous for the time being giving the security risks that come with being public. However, this choice will not impact their ability to serve the organization and the wider LGBT+ community in Iraq. In fact, all board members are determined to use all their connections and resources to empower the organization and the LGBT+ community in Iraq. One board member said “I joined IraQueer because I found a community where I can be myself, create bonds, and learn from similar experiences. I want the world to know that we exist and that we’ll always resist. I want to keep supporting IraQueer until we have an office in every Iraqi city.” Another board member said “I joined because I believe that everyone deserves to love, be loved, and respected for who they are. Everyone deserves to be free without and live without fear. We at IraQueer believe in a safer Iraq for all citizens regardless of their sexual orientation or/and gender expression.” She continued to highlight the impact of IraQueer’s work and her hopes for the future; “I hope that we can create a safer place for LGBT+ citizens. We will support and advocate for them until LGBT+ Iraqis are recognized as equals, and I know the future is going to be better for us.” For the next three years, members of the board are eager to work with IraQueer’s new Executive Director and the rest of the team to not only support IraQueer in continuing the work we’ve been doing for nearly seven years, but to also take it to the next level and continuing to push for a future in Iraq where the right of LGBT+ citizens are protected.
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 The 31-year-old non-binary British-Iraqi, Amrou Al-Kadhi tells their story of being a drag queen that originally comes from an Arab and Islamic background. Amrou, who uses Glamrou as their drag name, has been doing drag shows since 2016 and they’re here to talk about their childhood and the obstacles they’ve been through to finally reach a place where they feel happy and empowered.
Amrou says, “During my childhood, I lived between Bahrain and Dubai till I was 11. For the most part, my experience in the Middle East was great – I loved the cultural emphasis on family, and my house was always full with relatives and noise. Always big family lunches and dinners, and the focus on respecting your elders was really important and it was something that made me feel very warm and safe whilst I was growing up. Unfortunately, I don’t see as much of an emphasis on taking care of your family in the UK (especially with the elderly). While living in the Middle East, I did have some negative experiences – particularly when Islam class started warning me about the hellish consequences of homosexuality, which made me very scared about who I was; in Islam, there is a lot of “sin-counting,” and once I started realizing I was different, I developed OCD because I was so worried about the sins I was accumulating. So yes, my mental health deteriorated quite quickly during that time. Living in the Middle East had an impact on my way of thinking about my sexuality. I was obviously very young when I was in the Middle East, but to be honest, there was so little representation or discussion about queer lives, that I didn’t really have the language or conception of it. I think that added to my fear because I wasn’t even sure my experiences were valid or were allowed to exist, and that kind of made me feel invisible. At an early age, Allah was a source of unconditional support and love; I really believed they loved me no matter what, and this was very comforting. When I started to learn about hell, and the terrifying consequences of sin, I became less comforted by Allah, and much more terrified. Allah sort of took the form of a patriarchal dictator rather than a source of maternal comfort. When it comes to the relationship with my family and specifically my mother, I have to say that she is one of the most hilarious people I have ever known. Despite being strict and conservative, she lives for social performance and treats every social occasion like a night at the Met Gala. Before my sexuality became an issue in the family, I would help mama get dressed and we had a kind of secret bond based on a revelry of femininity. In many ways, she was the beginning of my love of drag. So my drag character, Glamrou, is very much an homage to the mother I loved and cherished before things got complicated. She had a pretty horrendous reaction to my sexuality and gender identity during my teenage years, which has left deep emotional scars, and I am still working through those. But I don’t hold a grudge. She is a victim of her own circumstances, and she was doing what she thought she needed to do to protect me from the judgment of the community, even if she went about this in terrible ways. After all I’ve been through, my journey of healing and self-acceptance started in my late 20s. I had been a drag queen for about 6 years at this point, but my drag was very much a façade and a front – like I was telling the world that I was fine and completely proud and in charge of my queer identity, when in fact I still harbored a lot of shame and trauma from my childhood. It was only during a show at the age of 27, when I started using drag to explore my vulnerabilities and my trauma on stage that I was able to process them and heal. In a way, my drag had to become much more honest for this to happen. And I remember that my first drag show was a hot mess. I had no idea what I was doing, and I rented out a crypt at university to do it. I looked terrible and I was petrified. But the second I went on stage, I found a confidence I never knew I had in me. I receive criticism and I get threats from white supremacists who hate the fact that I make fun of British culture in my shows, transphobes continually spew hate at me, and I get threats from conservative Muslims who hate the fact that I sing to Allah during my performances. But mostly, I get love from the people who come to support me, and that’s what I hold on to. The love does drown out the hate. Regardless of all the hatred, I keep doing what I love and for that I wrote my book “Unicorn”. The book is a memoir exploring reconciling being queer and Muslim, particularly trying to make sense of the relationship with my mother. I wrote the book so that other queer Arabs could have somewhere to see themselves and process their own feelings, as well as a way in which to process my own trauma and move beyond it. My message to Iraqi queers who are dealing with hatred is to remember that whatever people will try and make you believe, understand that it’s not your fault. Allah loves you as you are, and your chosen family is out there, waiting for you.” Get to know Glamrou by following them on Instagram and Twitter  WARNING: CONTAIN MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF-HARM AND BLOOD.
Non-binary is a term that’s easy to understand, yet not enough people seem to have any idea of what it’s. As a kid, you might have asked your parents about what it means to be a “woman” or a “man” and their answer was likely to be as follows, “when a mother gives birth to a baby, the doctor looks at the newborn’s body and decides the baby’s sex. If the sex was female, we give that baby a “she/her” pronouns and if the sex was male, we give that baby a “he/him” pronouns”. Well, that’s kind of not true because someone’s gender can’t be decided based on their sex. Gender is a wide spectrum that includes many identities and people might fall under any of them or none of them based on their internal feeling of who they’re. Keep in mind that your parents, your doctor, or your friends don’t have the right to decide it for you. Some kids might grow to use the same pronouns that was assigned to them at birth while others might feel the need to change it and that brings us to the term “non-binary”. Non-binary people don’t fit into the categories of “woman” or “man”, “female” or “male” and for that, they get to decide on their pronouns based on how they feel on the inside. As we all know, women use the pronouns “she/her” while men use the pronouns “he/him” but WHAT ABOUT NON-BINARY PEOPLE? Well, while some non-binary individuals choose to use the pronouns “they/them”, there’re still ones who use “she/her” or “he/him” and others who might choose some other pronouns like xe, ze, sie, and so on. Just like non-binary people get to decide the pronouns that fits them the most, they also get to decide on how to express their gender identity through their clothes and behavior. Non-binary people are allowed to express their gender identity the way that suits them and gives them the most comfort. And other people around them should learn to considerate and respectful. While people in some countries around the world have enough knowledge about non-binary, people in Iraq continue to use only the two common pronouns which are “she/her” and “he/him”. Here in Iraq, people’s pronouns get decided early at birth and continue to be used until the day they die. There’s not any consideration given to non-binary people and that could lead them to feel odd. As an Iraqi who’s trying to support non-binary Iraqis, learn to ask everyone new you meet for their pronouns instead of guessing it because you really never know what a person feels inside. In the beginning, it might seem confusing to learn people’s pronouns and you might make some mistakes here and there but what matters is that you keep trying. A lot of Iraqi non-binary people have bad experiences that they need to talk about and Noor is one of them. Noor is a fourteen-year-old non-binary individual who uses the pronouns “she/her”. Noor never felt that he/him, which was the pronouns assigned to her at birth, was the right pronouns. She says, “”He/him” pronouns is used to refer to me by everybody but it never seemed the right pronouns. Eventually, I started using “she/her” pronouns which I found to be the most appropriate. If someone asks me what non-binary is, I would say it’s the way you feel inside about yourself that doesn’t consider the standards of society or the gender roles that are set to control people. Simply, being non-binary means having the freedom of choosing yourself. Personally, I care a lot about fashion so what I wear is affected by that more than it’s affected by my gender identity. It doesn’t matter to me whether what I wear tends to be more feminine or masculine. The most important thing to me is to look beautiful. I love makeup too! But I need to be too careful when putting any on my face. I only wear it in my room late at night when my family is asleep and I need to take it off before I go to bed. I put some when I go to places that are full of queer people, like parties and so. And there was only one time when I had makeup on my face while I was out in a public place and that was the same day I tried to commit suicide. Sadly, my family isn’t supportive! We’re always arguing and these arguments might turn into something really bad. Sometimes, they see my outfit, which they consider inappropriate to be worn in our Iraqi society, and they react in extremely rude and harsh ways. These arguments usually end up with physical assault, swearing, and grounding. Unfortunately, it’s not any better outside my household. I get harassed in many different ways, by strangers in malls and parks and public places and even school. I tried talking to my mother about sexuality in general and about my identity in particular but her reaction was too bad. She got mad and told my father and many problems happened so I never discussed the topic with any of them after that. Unfortunately, talking to a therapist hasn’t been in any way better than talking to my parents. I’ve been going to a therapist behind my parent’s back! The bad news is that even my therapist turned to be homophobic and that means she can’t be someone I can talk honestly with about my identity. Not being accepted by others my age at school, struggling to wear what I want, and dealing with constant harassment made me lose my will to live and made me wish I was different than who I’m. It has been five months since my first attempt to commit suicide and only few weeks since my last attempt. I tried to hang myself multiple times but every time I did that, I ended up waking in a hospital. In my last attempt, I tried to cut my wrist but also woke up at the hospital surrounded by family members. I lost a lot of blood that day so it took me a while to get better! And when I did get better, my family members started threatening to kick me out if I did anything similar again. The situation is quite bad but I keep hoping that things get better one way or another and that I can wake up in a better place with better people who understand me and love me for who I’m.” Rand IraQueer  After nearly seven years, I will be leaving my position as the Executive Director of IraQueer. Starting IraQueer and leading it has been the greatest honor of my life. Together with my colleagues, we have managed to create resources for queer Iraqis that never existed before us. We have provided medical and legal services, and offered safe housing for hundreds of people who needed them. We have produced radio programs talking about LGBT+ rights and queer people that reached hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. And we have lobbied world leaders to put pressure on Iraq to recognize human rights of LGBT+ Iraqis. Lobby efforts that led to the Iraqi government recognizing the right to life for all citizens regardless of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity in front of the international community. While I will be leaving my current position, I will not be fully leaving IraQueer. I will join six other brilliant LGBT+ Iraqis to sit on the board! Together, we are determined to provide the team with all the support we can give to make sure that they are able to continue their groundbreaking work.
In addition to the new board, IraQueer will have a new Executive Director. The new director who chose to stay anonymous for the time being, brings years of experience with him and is keen to take IraQueer’s work to the next level. Together with the rest of the team, they are determined to continue advocating on behalf of LGBT+ Iraqis. The historic milestones that we reached at IraQueer wouldn’t have been possible without all the people who contributed to and supported the organization. All the volunteers and queer Iraqis who believed in us. All the partners and allies who used their resources and expertise to develop our movement. And most importantly, my colleagues at IraQueer, the young queer activists who risk their lives to defend LGBT+ Iraqis and their rights. It’s been the highlight of my career to work with and learn from you all. - Amir Ashour |