Today we celebrate Lesbian Visibility Day! Which is a great opportunity to put the light on all women from the LGBT+ community who are sexually and/or romantically attracted to other women. Despite all of your suffering as an Iraqi lesbian, we tell you to stay strong, to be proud, and to not ever listen to what haters say. You don’t have only one day to celebrate being a lesbian, every day is a chance for you to celebrate and to be proud.
For this day, Esraa and Khawla, who are two Iraqi lesbians, share their happy and sad stories with us:

Esraa says, “Ever since I was a kid, I dreamt of being an actress. Coming from an artistic family that loved the theater and music meant that my family were supportive of my dream to go to theater school. To me, it was one of the few ways that I could express myself freely. I enrolled at the age of eight. I grow up in the theater and had a great childhood! I learned early on about myself because I was allowed to express different things in my identity, and my family were supportive.

When I turned 16, a new girl joined the program for a summer. We became friends very quickly. She was beautiful. Time went by, and we got closer. I started feeling attracted to her! I did not fully understand what those feelings meant, so I told my parents. Both of them asked me to keep this to myself as it could put me and them in danger. They did not reject it, and helped me understand what it meant. So I took their advice and did not tell the girl that I liked her.

We continued being friends even after she left the acting class. We started seeing each other outside in coffee shops and went shopping together. I felt like she was also developing feelings towards me but I did not say anything because I was too scared. Until one day we were in her room when she kissed me. I was surprised, and she was nervous. She said “I have been wanting to do this for a long time. I am sorry, did I offend you?” I said no!! And I told her about my feelings towards her too.

Since then, we got romantically involved without telling anyone. I did not even tell my parents. One day, we went back to their house and we started watching a movie on the laptop in her bedroom when she started kissing me. While we were kissing, her brother came into the room. He pulled her by her hair, and started hitting her. They kicked me out of the house and asked me to never come back or they would call the police. A few days after, I heard the news that she was dead. They told people that she slipped and hit her head in the bathroom. Just like that! No one questioned them. A beautiful young woman was killed for loving someone, and she was killed and quickly forgotten by her family and the society. Like she never existed!”

And Khawla says, “I got divorced four years ago, after six years of marriage. I was married off to my cousin. Arranged marriages are very common in Karbala where I am from. A 30 year old girl who is not married is not acceptable. In families like mine, girls are supposed to get married at a certain age, perform their marital duties, give birth to babies, raise her children, stay at home, and be a good wife. For 36 years, I was following all the rules that were put for me by my family, extended family, religious teachings, and the society. I was the only one who did not have any power over my own life. Ignoring my feelings, my thoughts, and my own identity. It was not until I got divorced that I got to really think about who I am and what I want in life.

After my divorce, I spent a lot of time in my room. I always wanted to be alone, away from my family and everyone else. That’s when I really started listening to myself and think for myself. I started realizing that all the “strange” feelings I had towards women, was not strange. It was how I really felt. I was attracted to women. But I did not realize that because.. well, how would I know that when I was told my entire life that I should find a great man! Never ever have I thought being with a woman is an option.

Three years ago was when I met the love of my life. I was going to buy some things from the grocery store when I met my neighbor. She was wearing blue top which brought out her blue eyes. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. We started texting. We talked about everything. I could tell her the important and person things in my life. Our connection grew stronger and stronger. Being neighbors, it was not strange that we would spend time together in person. Our mothers were friendly with each other, and that allowed us to visit each other at home.

One day, we were laying on her bed, listening to Shireen’s song “Enkatabli Omr”, our hands started touching. We were talking about love, then we had our first kiss. It was the first time in my life that I feel afraid and safe at the same time. Since then, we have been together. We meet and talk all the time. Our families still do not know. They think that being a divorcee makes me sad, but in reality, I have never been happier.”

Rand
​IraQueer

Most probably, the majority of you have heard about STDs but have you heard about STIs before? Do you know what the differences are between STDs and STIs?

Simply, STIs or sexually transmitted infections are infections that pass from one person to another as certain parasites, bacteria, or viruses enter the body by sexual or nonsexual activities. When that happens, the person is told to have STI. Based on Tulane University, people with STIs can infect someone else by having sex with them or by exchanging bodily fluids like blood, urine, virginal fluids, and so on. Another way would be by touching the person with STI on a spot of their skin where the infection is active.

​Having multiple partners and/or not using protection can highly increase the risk of STIs so keep in mind that educating yourself helps you and your partner/s avoid many health issues. Plus getting the proper medical help allows you, in case you have the infection already, to lower the chance of dealing with serious health problems in the future.

HIV, hepatitis, Gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia are all examples of possible STIs that someone could get. Some of these STIs could be transmitted only by sexual interaction while others could be transmitted by both sexual and nonsexual interactions.

STIs can frequently have no symptoms or have symptoms that are vague and not specific, therefore unrecognizable.​ That’s why you need to keep in mind that just because someone’s body is working normally while having STI, doesn’t mean there will not be any future health problems. STIs should be taken seriously because they might develop into STDs. For that we can say that STDs are a late stage of STIs that develop as the person with STI doesn’t get the proper medical care at the right time.

Last but not least, you have probably heard people or read articles that use the terms STI and STD interchangeably. Using these terms interchangeably may cause confusion since an STI may or may not lead to an STD.

As Iraqi queers, it seems dangerous and sometimes impossible to visit clinics to have the necessary tests. That’s why you should educate yourself about all these possible infections and learn how to protect yourself. And if you feel the need to have the tests, ask for help from the ones you know and fully trust.  

Redin, who is a gay man from Sulaymaniyah city, talks about his personal experience with STI and says, “I got Gonorrhea about a year ago just before lockdown. I found out mainly through the symptoms I was having which were mainly pain in my testicles. It was an uncomfortable situation because I felt reluctant to seek treatment and medical advice from doctors. That’s why I reached out to a friend of mine who was a doctor and who was also gay. He was not judgmental so he helped me without making me feel uncomfortable. Other than this friend, I only told the sexual partner I had while I kept it a secret from everybody else.

​My friend tried to help by diagnosing my symptoms, and after he determined that I most probably got Gonorrhea, he told me which treatments to get without doing a test and visiting a doctor. He told me that even though testing is crucial to the diagnoses, it might not be a nice experience to be judged by the lab operators, therefore he recommended an empirical treatment.
T
he treatment that my friend gave me resolved my symptoms very quickly. Still, I would have liked to get tested in a Lab but I didn't do it due to my fear of stigma because I have had friends, not just gay but also heterosexuals, who had bad experiences in Iraq while seeking treatment for STDs.

I frequently get tested for viral illnesses like HIV and HBs and HCV since those are more standardized tests. But I wouldn't feel comfortable doing more specific tests like chlamydia or Gonorrhea for example.

My advice to Iraqi queers is to ALWAYS practice safe sex, even if it's with someone they trust. It is a common misconception among Iraqi queers to assume that someone is "clean" just by how they look. Keep in mind that STDs are common and people have them regardless of how they look, where they come from, and their education level. Also, just because someone doesn't Have HIV doesn't mean they do not have anything else. Having an STD doesn't make you a bad or a good person. I advise all of you to test for STDs as much as you can. It could be hard, but better safe than sorry. Lastly, I advise you all to reach out to organizations like IraQueer for sexual advice. Doing these things can lower your risk of getting STDs.”

​No matter how stuck you feel you’re, remember that help could be found. IraQueer highly encourages you to use protection and choose your partner/s very carefully. Infections could happen to anyone regardless of their age or sexuality so take good care of yourself. And remember to come to us or any NGO that supports the LGBT+ community in case you need advice on how to protect yourself. We’re always happy to help.
 
 
 
 
 
 

​IraQueer condemns the arbitrary actions taken by the police forces in Slemani city in Iraq. The mass arrests are direct violations of human rights of people who are or perceived to be LGBT+. These arrests have no legal basis and claiming that LGBT+ people are a threat to the city’s security is misleading the public. This campaign will put LGBT+ residents of Slemani city and Iraq in an even more vulnerable position. The claims of planning to “examine these individuals” will directly violate these individuals human rights and dignity. We call on the Kurdistan Regional Government, the Iraqi Government, and the International Community to take immediate action to put a stop to these violations and hold those who are leading this campaign accountable for breaking the law.